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by CassetteTapes
Summary: Catcisse pairing, what I wish had happened when Narcisse returns from France. No betrayal or any of that sneaky shit. Rated T for swearing Disclaimer: I don't own Reign or make any profit off this. Multi-chapter
1. That Feeling

**Catcisse pairing, what I wish had happened when Narcisse returns from France. No betrayal or any of that sneaky shit.**

 **Rated T for swearing**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Reign or make any profit off this.**

 **Multi-chapter**

Elizabeth had released Narcisse from the tower after some interrogation and let him return to France with John. The journey had been rough but he had made it back intact. He had arrived a few days later and been escorted to his old chambers while John was taken to the nursery. He had few visitors except physicians and servants that brought his food. However two or three days after his arrival he got a most unexpected visitor…Catherine. He struggled to sit up in his bed and look at her, she was wearing a black dress adorned with lace and beads. She looked fairly nervous, wringing her hands and staying at least ten feet away from him.

She had been one of the first few to hear of his arrival and for the following days been at a war with herself over whether she should pay him a visit. Finally after considerable debate she'd decided to indeed pay her Lord Chancellor a visit. She hardly dared look at him, as she tried to keep her unsettlement to herself, however he seemed to notice for he was looking at her oddly. She didn't now why it was so uncomfortable it wasn't as if there was anything between them anymore…well not for him anyway. No! No, you've been over this Catherine you do not have feelings for that snake! Except he's not a snake…it's your fault your relationship is over. Good Lord Catherine stop blushing! "Stefan…I heard you were back and I just…I wanted to see if you were alright."

"Yes, I arrived on a ship a few days ago with John."

At this she was suddenly confused, "Where's Lola?"

"Dead."

A hand flew to her mouth and her eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Stefan I'm so sorry." She shook her head in disbelief. "How?"

"Elizabeth beheaded her, I'd rather not get into the details." He watched her.

"Oh my gosh…and little John he…he…" She looked close to tears.

"I'm his stepfather so I'm his official guardian." He noted that she was also the child's Grandmother though he doubted she would take much interest in the boy.

"If there's anything I can do at all." She offered.

"Nothing I can think of at the moment, but thank you."

She nodded, "You have my condolences." With that she left.

She was thoroughly stunned, Lola was dead, John was motherless, Stefan was alone. No! NO! You cannot be seriously thinking about him like this after all he's done to you. She was confused through and through about what to feel, what to do, what to think. She found herself yearning for his friendship because he understood her like no one else could. He could make her laugh when there seemed to be no hope. The day he'd left for Scotland had felt like the end of the world, she had thought she'd never see him again. He had said that he was going back to his wife, so naturally he never wanted anything to do with Catherine ever again. A tear found it's way down her cheek but she quickly swiped it away…she thought she was over this.

Narcisse on the other hand was feeling the exact same way, from the moment he'd seen her enter his room he'd felt something. Something that made him want to run to her and pull her tiny person into his arms like he'd done so many times before. Then another feeling that made him want to smack her across the cheek and make her sorry. Sorry for what he didn't know, he knew she wasn't responsible for Lola's death but he felt guilty all the same for the feelings he still possessed for the Queen Mother. He had told himself repeatedly that he had never felt anything more for the woman then lust, but he knew this wasn't true. As much as he hated to admit it he'd developed feelings for Catherine and she still held his heart.

Later that night Catherine sat at her vanity, absentmindedly brushing out her long copper hair. There was a lot on her mind, dealing with Leeza, corresponding with Mary, the situation with John and of course…Narcisse. She sighed and stood from where she sat going over to lie down. She rolled over, burying her head in the pillow and breathing in the scent of lavender. Soon after she fell into a light sleep.

 **A/N okay that was a really short chapter but I think it was an okay start.**


	2. Dreams of You

Taking hold of her shoulders he slammed her into a wall causing a gasp to escape her lips. Soon after his lips pressed against hers in a hard kiss, her hands were combing through his hair trying to pull him closer. Every move was pure passion and want, as his lips trailed to her neck they left a trail of fire on her skin. Her head fell to the side and her eyes closed allowing full access to her neck. As he found the sensitive spot on her neck and nipped her there a whimper left her mouth. In the next moment he had ripped down the shoulder of her dress and practically devoured the skin there. All the while he was desperately ripping the dress from her body, all the touches and kisses left her mewling helplessly beneath him. Not only had she been declined these certain affections in nearly a year but she had been fantasying about him for longer then she could remember. "Catherine.." Her head snapped up to look at him.

"Catherine…" His fingers drifted over her cheek before he started to fade away and soon after so did the room. The hardness of the wall was replaced by something softer and the feeling of his fingers became gentler.

Shifting and rolling over her cheek was met with the soft feeling of silk. Slowly her eyes began to open and focused on her room…it'd only been a dream. "Catherine?"

He had been walking to the banquet hall that morning when he'd heard strange noises coming from the Queen Mother's chambers. Thinking nothing of it he had continued to walk but then something caught his attention…had she just said his name? Turning around he opened the door to her chambers and stepped inside. She was lying on her bed, blankets bunched up at the bottom of the bed and face in the pillow. Her small freckled hands were pawing the sheets and muffled gasps escaping her lips. As she rolled over he saw her face, lips parted, cheeks flushed, and wild hair.

The mere sight of her sent warm shivers up his spine, this woman was full of passion even in her sleep. His name falling from her lips snapped him from his trance. Deciding that he might as well wake her he went over to the side of her bed and sat beside her. Almost instantly she rolled over towards him, her head colliding with his knee. Staring down at her a moment, as much as he would like to sit there and stare at her forever she was getting more restless by the second. He realized that she was having a very disturbing dream…or a very arousing one. Either way he knew waking her was the right thing to do.

Gently he touched her cheek, this caused her to slow her frantic movements ever so slightly. Stroking her cheek with his thumb ever so gently he watched as a dreamy smile flitted over her lips. He didn't know whether he wanted her to wake or to just watch her. However, it crossed his mind that not only should he not be having these sorta of feelings towards the Queen Mother but also that she _certainly_ wouldn't feel the same way. Sighing to himself he retracted the hand from her cheek, which caused her smile to falter a bit. Even that small fade of happiness made him want to lie down beside her and draw her into his arms, even if she thought him to be someone else.

Knowing that these thoughts needed to stop now he made his attempt to wake her, "Catherine…" This only caused her to stir, "Catherine…" She rolled over, "Catherine?" Now she started to rub her eyes, slowing but surely waking, she mumbled incoherently before looking up to see him.

Eyes now wide open she sat up hastily only to be met with a head hitting into hers. This completely knocked her backwards and she was failing to contain her confusion. One moment Narcisse was kissing her as if noting else mattered and the next he was hovering over bed worriedly. "Stephan? What are you doing here?" She stuttered.

"I…" Suddenly he was at loss for words, he just stared, transfixed on her confused yet radiant face. It was only when she sat up beside him and peered at him did he actually remember to speak.

"I thought I heard you crying and thought you might be in trouble." He rushed, intentionally leaving out the part about her saying his name a multitude of times.

"Oh…" She even smiled at him. "Well thank you for your concern but I'm perfectly well."

He nodded and got up to leave when she grabbed hold his hand, "Thank you…for everything."

He smiled at her, "You're welcome." With that he left, leaving them both with huge smiles.

 **A/N this chapter was inspired by the #catcisse photo meg_follows posts on instagram a few days ago. (;**


	3. Hollow

After her incident with Narcisse a few hours prior she'd been put in a oddly good mood. However, after breakfast, harassment by the council, and a reportedly missing Charles she'd been efficiently bummed out. At the moment she was making her way to her son's chambers to try and talk some sense into him.

She reached his chambers not bothering to knock.

"You!" Charles exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at his Mother.

"Me."

"I know what you did!"

"What did I do?" She asked sourly.

"You tried to kill me!" He exclaimed, stalking towards her.

"What?!" Her eyebrows shot up, "I did no such thing! You're my son I would never-" Her words died away as he towered over her. Even though he was her son he was so much taller then her…a trait he surely inherited from his Father.

"Don't _lie_ to me Mother." He growled.

She was truly confused now, why in the world would he think she had attempted to kill him? Sure, she did murder people but he was her son. Surely he knew her well enough to know she would never in a million years harm him. Yet he was staring down at her with every accusation in his cold gaze. It broke her from inside out but she didn't move, "Who told you this?" She inquired.

"Leeza, she has proof."

"No! No, Charles darling can't you see that she's trying to pit us against each other?! I didn't try to murder you I would never do that…she's lying Charles! She's lying!" She shook her head trying to make him understand.

He was inches from her now, glaring down at her the way Henry used to, "Then what's this?!" He whipped a tiny bottle from behind his back. Waving it in front of her nose.

"I don't know." She said truthfully, "I don't know…I've never seen it before."

"You're lying!" He shouted and she stumbled backwards, startled by his outburst.

"No! I'm not! Charles _please_!" She felt like crying.

"You hoped that if you ridded yourself of me you could be regent again didn't you?" He accused, slowly but surely taking threatening steps towards her.

"No!" She cried, "No! NO!" She kept stepping backwards, "You don't understand! She's doing this on purpose! She's trying to turn us against each other, she's trying to tear this family apart!"

"You already did that!" He snarled and her back finally hit the wall.

A soft sob left her lips as a single tear trickled down her cheek, "Charles…"

"What? Disappointed that all your scheming failed?" He glowering over her.

"Charles please…I never…" Her words died away knowing they'd have to impact on him.

"I don't understand why Francis didn't kill you why he had the chance." He growled at her, fury and madness burning in his hazel eyes.

"Because you saved me…" She whispered.

"Well no ones going to save you now." He sneered.

Another heart-breaking sob left her and she resisted the urge to slump forward and crumble. "Charles...please…I would never hurt you I love you you're my son." She pleaded.

"You are incapable of love, I know that well enough." She recalled that exact sentence from all those years ago when Henry had uttered it to her and in that moment she lost it. Tears, big and sparkling rolled down her cheeks.

"Charles..."

He grabbed her shoulder forcefully, pinning her to the wall lest she tried to move. "Crying isn't going to help you."

"I know…" She sobbed.

"Well then if we're clear," his hold on her shoulder increased tenfold and she let out a pained sob, "How about I give you a taste of your own medicine?" He held out the tiny bottle.

She had stopped resisting at this point even if her son's hold on her shoulder was nearly bone-shattering. When he uncorked the bottle she picked up on the scent and knew exactly what it was…nightshade. "Charles…Charles…" she shook her head, "It'll kill me."

"I'm aware." He shoved the bottle towards her tightly sealed lips.

"Let go of her!" A rough baritone voice sounded from the doorway.

"Ah, Lord Chancellor." Charles didn't move away from his Mother.

"Let her go." He repeated.

"I think not." He dug his nails into her shoulder.

A wild cry of pent up pain leapt from her throat and Charles's attention flew to her.

Narcisse lunged, taking Charles' temporary distraction as a chance. The Lord Chancellor shoved the young King away from the Queen Mother. Narcisse stood like a shield in front of Catherine lest Charles come back for another attack but the young boy looked more confused then anything at this point. Taking the opportunity he led a still tear wrecked and shaken Catherine from the room, and she followed his lead blindly until they ended up in her chambers.

He also sat her down, her body obeying just the slightest presses of his fingers. Following his lead until somehow she'd managed to be sitting with a blanket around her shoulders. "Catherine?" He attempted to speak to her.

She blanked him, her eyes hollow as if some precious piece of her had been stolen away. Even as he rattled her gently she just swayed in his grip, her body still obeying every simple touch of his hands. Her normally taunt and alert posture was gone, replaced by a hollow shell of what used to be Catherine. "Catherine?" He whispered, voice anxious.

"They're broken." She said. Even her voice was hollow, emotionless as if she was talking about the weather. "I broke them."

"No…" He didn't know what words had been exchanged between Mother and Son but it couldn't have been anything good, "No ones broken."

"We're all broken." She stated.

"Well to an extent yes but Catherine…"

"I broke you too." She interrupted.

He swallowed a lump in his throat and resisted the urge to touch her cheek, "Catherine, I was already broken."

"No…I _shattered_ you." Even her face was blank, as if her soul was gone leaving only her voice and body behind.

"No you didn't."

"Leave me. I have things to attend to."

"Catherine…"

She stood, her body moving like a machine every movement rigid, "Goodbye Stephan, I'll see you at the council meeting tomorrow."

"Catherine wait." He tried again.

"Do I need the guards to escort you out Lord Chancellor?" Still, her voice was as dead as her expression, but it was nothing compared to the emptiness in her hazel eyes.

"No." He shook his head.

She nodded stiffly, watching him leave before going back and sitting on the settee once more. She felt dead, she had broken them all, she had torn them all apart. Her family was nonexistent and it was all thanks to her. She had no more tears left to cry, no more grief left to be felt, nothing else to live for. Her eyes stared without seeing and within seconds she found herself slumped on the ground, staring at the ceiling. She almost wished Narcisse would come back for her, to hold her…but he didn't.

 **A/N I know it was angsty but I promise it'll get better.**


	4. Grasping

**A/N ahhh! The last episode aired last night and I think we can all agree that Catherine deserved a better ending. Over all though, I was pretty impressed with the ending.**

The next day when he saw her at breakfast he knew something was terribly wrong. He had sat down across from her, muttering a good morning and how are you feeling but she hadn't even seen him. Fortunately he wasn't the only one who sensed something was wrong, Claude kept glancing in her Mother's direction nervously. Breakfast was usually a time where she assessed, scolded, ate, planned, ate, grumbled, and ate. However now she sat there, silent as a statue picking at her food but never once eating it. Her eyes were staring straight at him but he could clearly tell she wasn't looking at him but rather _through_ him.

"Catherine." He hissed, leaning forward and trying to get her attention but she didn't respond.

"Mother?" Claude asked cautiously.

Catherine inclined her head slightly to look over at her daughter but barely seemed to see her either. She still had that blank look on her face…not indifference but simply unresponsive. "Mother…are you quite well?"

"Since when do you care?" Came her shallow response.

Claude's eyebrows creased in a mix between confusion and hurt, "It's just…you're not eating and, well you look…different."

"Not hungry." She grit out.

"You're always hungry." Claude laughed nervously.

"If you'll excuse me." The former Queen pushed out her chair and stood, her movements still stiff and mechanical as they had been the night before. Narcisse stood as well but she didn't seem to notice, her eyes had misted over again.

As she retreated from the dining room Narcisse followed suite, until they arrived in a small corridor, "Catherine!" He caught her hand.

She turned around slowly, not saying anything but staring at him blankly as ever. His heart missed a beat, her eyes were hollow…how was that even possible? Her eyes…god he couldn't look. "Catherine what is the matter with you?"

Silence. "Catherine! Answer me! What is wrong with you?!"

"Everything."

He took hold of her shoulders, "What did he do to you?!"

"Told me the truth."

"No. No. No." He let go of her shoulders and looked her up and down twice, "That was not the truth. Whatever he said to you, whatever he did to make you like this it was a _lie_ Catherine. All a lie. You did the very best you could for your children, your country, your husband. You gave your heart to them and if they can't return the favor shame on them! You are a kind, loving, intelligent, beautiful human being and if anyone tells you differently they are foolish. You did not damage or break anyone and if you allow his words to effect you like this any longer then I'll…" He stopped.

She was looking at him. Not just _looking_ but _seeing._ Her large hazel eyes had flooded with emotion like a dried riverbed renewed with fresh water. She staggered back a pace, before staring at him a single tear clinging to her eyelashes. "Catherine." He took a step towards him.

She let out a soft sob, almost too quite to hear and shook her head gently. "I'm sorry." She whispered.

He took another step towards her, "Catherine…don't be sorry you did nothing wrong."

"I'm sorry." She murmured again.

"No…" He enveloped her in a tight hug before thinking about it. She would've lost it right then and there in his arms but she bit her lip to keep quite. Slowly her arms came up to hug him back.

"I'm…" He stopped her before she could go any further.

"Catherine…" He pulled away from her and looked her in the eyes, "You're okay."

She nodded, biting her lip eve harder as a sob threatened to burst from her lungs. She inhaled deeply before straightening her back, "Thank you Stephan."

"Of course." He would never be able to tell her how much she'd scared him.

"Would you be so kind to come by later for some tea?"

"It would be my pleasure."

She gave him a tiny smile before disappearing around the corner again. He let out a long breath…never again did he want to see her eyes like that.

 **A/N so yeah this chapter was short but still good I hope. Rate and review thanks!**


	5. Drowning

**A/N tbh I've been on a roll with this story, I hope you like reading it as much as I like writing it!**

It'd been a week since Narcisse had come for tea. It'd been a week since Catherine had nearly lost it. Right now she sat in her chambers alone, trying to think about anything other then what Charles had said to her. But just like anything else you desperately try to forget it wouldn't let her go. _You're incapable of love, I know that well enough._

She shook her head, trying to concentrate on the letter she was writing to Mary. The young Queen and herself had been keeping in touch by the form of letters and Catherine had just received one from Mary. The Scottish Queen had just met Darnley and was considering marriage. Mary had asked Catherine for her advice on the matter and the French Queen was all too happy to oblige.

Of course, the marriage would be for the good of Scotland but one always hopes to find happiness. Catherine certainly hoped that was the case but she couldn't help but doubt it, what with his parentage and his family history. She hoped that her instincts were wrong and that Darnley turned out to be a suitable husband. However, Catherine couldn't help wonder if Mary could be happy with anyone other then Francis. _I don't know why Francis didn't kill you when he had the chance._

Growling in frustrations she stood hastily. Maybe she just needed some air. Rushing over to the window she struggled with the clasps and then threw them open. Cool summer night air rushed through the window and she breathed deeply. The breeze blew Charles words away and her chest heaved slightly as if she'd been carrying a heavy weight up until now. In a way I suppose she had, for words can be heavier then any weight and leave a scar deeper then any knife.

She must've been so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door open or the footsteps approaching her form behind. She took another shuddering breath before turning around and when she did it was too late. All it took was a small shove and she tumbling backwards out of the window. A scream burst from her lungs as she fell, long copper dress billowing out around her. Just when she thought it was over her body hit the surface of the lake.

For a split second she felt relieved, but then the realization that she couldn't swim hit her. Limbs flailing and lungs burning she thrashed around in the murky water but it was no use. Slowly her moves fell silent and her eyes fell closed. _No one is going to save you now._

Narcisse had been on his way back from the kitchens when he heard a scream. His gaze shot upwards towards Catherine's chambers and he too let out a frightened yell. The Queen Mother was plummeting from her open window. His feet moved on their own accord, speeding him towards her window as if they believed he could get there before she hit. Alas, no matter how fast he flew towards her she fell faster. Feet from the ground he realized that her chambers were directly above the castle lake.

In the few seconds it took him to realize that she had already hit the surface of the lake, causing large ripples to spread out as she sank beneath the clear surface. He reached the edge of the lake in another dozen seconds, without a second thought he dove into the icy water.

The water burned his lungs and eyes but he forced to keep them open. Searching desperately for the fallen Queen. At long last his fingers grazed over soaked fabric. Moments later he spotted her floating form, resting at the bottom of the lake. An arm encircled her middle and he held on to her for dear life, thrashing in the water, desperately trying to reach the surface. Once his head broke above the water he made sure to keep Catherine's head above the water but she was already unconscious or worse…No! Have faith, she's Catherine.

Treading water and keeping Catherine's head above the water proved to be harder then one would think so when he managed to get back to the shore he was freezing but his heart was still hammering. Hauling Catherine's pale form onto the bank he rolled her over and to his relief she coughed up water, heaving in large breaths of the cool evening air. "Catherine." He gasped out.

"Stephan." She managed between harsh coughs. Her back was shaking as she inhaled air by the gallon. Sodden curls hung limp around her face and her crown was barely hanging on to her head. He knew she must be freezing, her soaked gown clinging to her ghastly white figure.

"Are you okay?" He was by her side, shivering himself but adrenaline still high.

"I'm alive." Her voice was raspy but she was gradually catching her breath.

"We have to get you inside to see the physician." He said, trying to see her face.

"I'd rather just freeze to death at this point." She growled.

"Catherine…"

"I'm fine!" She snapped.

He recoiled, understanding that she was still shaken. Then a thought seeped like poison into his mind…had she jumped? His eyes found her form again, she was holding her chest and breathing heavily. No…she wouldn't. Why not? Just last week she was so close to shattering. _Last week._ Not now…she wouldn't, she would never.

"Catherine…" His voice was low and serious and her head turned to look at him, "Did you jump?"

Her eyes widened in surprise and then she started laughing. _Laughing._ Surely she'd gone mad, she'd just fallen out of a window, nearly frozen to death, and now he was asking her if she was trying to commit suicide and she was laughing. Her chest heaving from laughter, cold, humorless, laughter, "Everyone really does believe the worst in me." She shook her head, standing shakily. "And what if I did jump?" She shrugged, turning away as he stood, looking up at the cold palace walls.

Quietly he walked over to her side and followed her gaze to the open window in her chambers. Then he looked over to her, lips in a grim expression and shivering violently. "No Stephan…" She said, looking over to him, "I did not jump."

"Then…what happened?" He asked.

"Someone pushed me." She was looking at the window again.

"Who? Why? Didn't you hear them come in? Why was the window open?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

"But…"

"You keep saving me." She said quietly, "Stop."

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused and alarmed.

"Stop saving me Stephan…I'm a lost cause." With that she strode back towards the palace, shivering but still regal as ever. He knew there was no point in chasing after her so he just watched her go.

 **A/N Yeah I don't know where this is going either but just bare with me.**


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